Week #2 – Sharing and Amends (Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9)
Step 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Hand out the blank Fourth Step “Assets and Liabilities Checklist” along with the example. (The blank checklist has the “Fourth Step Questions” on the back and the example has the “Explanation of Terms” on the back.)
4th Step Checklist -example
4th Step Checklist -blank
“The fourth paragraph on page 63 takes us from the Surrender Steps (One, Two and Three) to the Sharing and Amends Steps (Four through Nine). Here the ‘Big Book’ authors tell us we take Steps Four through Nine immediately after the Third Step prayer.”
“NEXT we launched out on a course of vigorous action, (Steps Four through Nine) the first step of which (Step Four) is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless AT ONCE followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our (self-destructive behavior) was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.”
“The ‘Big Book’ authors use the words ‘next,’ and ‘at once’ to express the necessity of taking these Steps quickly.”
“The personal housecleaning is described in the first paragraph on page 64.”
“Therefore we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret.”
“A business inventory consists of Assets and Liabilities. The equation for double-entry, commercial bookkeeping is Assets = Liabilities + Owner Equity.”
“In the second paragraph on page 64, the authors tell us that, in Step Four, we look only at the liabilities side of the ledger.”
“We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.”
Have everyone fold their blank checklist so the assets are hidden from view. Explain that according to the “Big Book” authors, we inventory our resentments, our fears, and our harms.
“The Resentment inventory is described in the third paragraph on page 64.”
“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more (of us) than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, …In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.”
“The Fear inventory is described in the first paragraph on page 68.”
“We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.”
“The Harms inventory is described in the first paragraph on page 69.”
“We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.”
“According to the ‘Big Book’ authors, we inventory Selfishness, Dishonesty, Inconsideration, Jealousy, Suspicion and Bitterness, in addition to Resentment and Fear. On our checklist, we have substituted False Pride for Inconsideration, Envy for Suspicion and Laziness for Bitterness. These changes come from a 1946 article in a Twelve-Step newsletter.”
Read the “Explanation of Terms” for the Liabilities.
Explanation of Terms-Liabilities
“It is important that the Fourth Step inventory be anonymous. Personal names are not put on the sheet. In addition, we do not write down anything that could be considered self-incriminating.”
“That’s why the inventory consists of generic names and tick marks on a single piece of paper. The marks are to remind us what we are to discuss in Step Five.”
Suggest that everyone fill out a Checklist. Then, ask the Fourth Step Questions.
Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Explain that the Fifth Step must be taken as soon as possible (preferably immediately after the session).
Describe the concept of “Legal Privilege.” Those who have this privilege are described in the handout titled, “B2B-101: Step Five-Legal Privilege.”
Legal Privilege
“According to the ‘Big Book’ authors, as written in the second paragraph on page 74, we can temporarily postpone the Fifth Step until after this meeting.”
“Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. It is important that he (or she) be able to keep a confidence; …fully understand and approve what we are driving at; (and) will not try to change our plan. But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.”
Explain that we overcome resentments with forgiveness, fears with faith, and harms with amends.
Step 6 – Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Ask the Sixth Step Question (page 76, para. 1, lines 3-5).
“Are you now ready to let God remove from you all the things which you have admitted are objectionable?”
Step 7 – Humbly asked (God) to remove our shortcomings.
Lead the Seventh Step Prayer (page 76, para. 2, lines 1-7).
“Please repeat after me”:
“My Creator (repeat)
I am now willing (repeat)
that you should have all of me (repeat)
good and bad. (repeat)
I pray that you now (repeat)
remove from me (repeat)
every single defect of character (repeat)
which stands in the way (repeat)
of my usefulness to you (repeat)
and my fellows. (repeat)
Grant me strength (repeat)
as I go out from here (repeat)
to do you bidding (repeat)
Amen.” (repeat)
Step 8 – Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Explain the Eight Step amends list.
“If the newcomer and sharing partner agree that an amends needs to be made, the sharing partner changes the appropriate mark or marks to distinguish between the ‘talking points’ and the amends. For example, if the newcomer started with a dot, the sharing partner can put a checkmark or an x through it. It he or she started with an x, the sharing partner can put a circle around it. If a circle, the sharing partner can fill it in.”
Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Explain the four types of amends. They are described in the handout titled, “B2B-101: Step Nine–Types of Amends.”
Types of Amends
Direct. (pg. 78:2)
Living. (pg. 83:1)
In-kind. (pg. 82:1
Letter. (pg. 83:3)
Explain that the sharing partner can add the type of amends to the bottom of the inventory sheet based on the “Assets and Liabilities Checklist Example.”
“Are there any questions or comments?”
Copyright: Faith With Works Publishing Company, Wally P.